Joint families disappearing should be a cause of worry
Md. Zillur Rahaman :
We pride ourselves on single or tiny families in the 21st century – small families mean happy families! A tiny family consisting of a husband, wife and one or two children.
Even a few decades ago, there were joint families with parents, brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents and many more. In a joint family, the fun of living together, eating, cheering, and celebrating is different.
The extended family is falling apart and the wave of urban life has also reached the villages.
The joint family is also going to move out of the village.
People had ponds full of fish, fields full of paddy, cows full of cattle; there was much happiness and comfort in the joint family.
Each family had 20 to 30 members depending on the situation, somewhere more than that.
Everyone obeyed the orders of the head of the family, there was a good family relationship between brothers and sisters and divorce was quite less.
As society progresses, the number of joint families is decreasing alarmingly.
The benefits, traditions and social bonds of joint or extended family are getting lost; disputes and various unrests are increasing.
The most recent data of Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics (BBS) says that the size of family members has reduced to less than four people.
A decade ago there were about four and a half people; currently it has reduced to 3.98 people.
Along with smaller families, the population growth rate has also decreased.
The annual average population growth rate in the country is now at 1.12 percent and a decade ago it was at 1.37 percent.
These data have come out in the final report of BBS last census and house census published on 29 November 2023 and the picture is definitely worrying.
The sixth census was conducted across the country from 15 to 21 June 2022 and the preliminary census report was released on 27 July of the same year.
Then the population was at 165.10 million. According to the final report published on 29 November 2023, the total population of the country is at 169.80 million, of which women are at 85.68 million (50.46 percent) and men are at 84.13 million (49.54 percent), i.e, women are more than men, about 1.60 million more.
The reasons behind the increase in the number of women, experts say, are the increased life expectancy of women and the fact that many men are expatriates. That is why women are more than men.
Social scientists say that the isolated single family is now like a temporary bird’s nest: one or two small houses, small households, small families, where only parents and their one or two sons live.
There is no such joy, everything is like a machine, dull, lonely.
Those who used to play the role of the doers in the earlier single family, in the present single family, their presence is regarded as guests, just like an outsider.
As a result, children do not know that they are members of the family, they do not develop any love, respect or tolerance towards grandparents, uncles and aunts.
Their parents are at the root of this ignorance.
The children of these families, within a few days of entering into matrimonial relations, are separated from their roots and form a single family of two husband and wife, the only son of the family is not left out.
Today they feel more comfortable being apart from their old parents, the result is old age.
Also, this single family system is partly responsible for the practice of non-cooperation that is seen in the present society.
As the joint family is broken by the wind of time, the number of family members has come to 3 or 4 people.
Besides, everyone is busy. Even now, when we see the private conversations of prominent people of the country, most of them reminisce about their close family.
The perfect joy that lies in the house full of people is readily remembered and acknowledged by all.
Now, in the mechanized city life, parents are very happy if their children get married of their own choice.
Social customs are changing day by day, people’s values are changing.
The discipline structure of people is changing.
As the financial freedom of people is increasing, so is the freedom of living.
Families are breaking up. Society is also changing its pattern. Old ways of living are also changing.
Everyone’s privacy is protected in a single family.
You can go as you wish. Income, expenditure and savings are protected as future self.
But a joint family is like a banyan tree means the benefits of a joint family are many times more than a single family. If there is a joint family, many people can be found by their side in times of trouble.
Happiness and sadness can be shared. All the members of the extended or joint family always have immense love, affection etc for each other. In case of any danger or festival, close family members come forward first and get the most benefits and happiness.
According to social scientists, joint families are no longer sustainable in society but we can try. For example, Japan has a high number of single or joint families.
There, the impact of globalization is much greater than ours. Yet they hold on to it and reap its benefits. There is state encouragement to maintain joint family.
At present, due to various reasons including modern urbanization and industrialization, employment, joint families are becoming threat to single families. Most of the seniors who take shelter in old age homes come from well-educated and wealthy families.
They range from retired senior government officials to university teachers. All of whom are rejected from the family in one way or another. As a result, he chose the nursing home as the last hope for fear of honor.
Almost 100% of those living in nursing homes belong to highly educated and wealthy families.
Some of them have children abroad. As there was no one to see him, he took shelter here. There are also cases where the child is rejected and joins the nursing home as a safe place to stay.
Every day from morning to evening they spend life without relatives. Some find solace in tears at times recalling family memories. There are also cases where the children do not even come to collect the body after being informed that one has died.
Social analysts say that the continuous digital age is mechanizing everything. Family, relationship, identity has come to hand, mobile phone monitor. Social media has turned into a virtual life instead of real life. Instead of visiting relatives and neighbors’ houses, everything is stuck in Hi Hello.
It is as if a humorless relationship is being formed and the traditional bond of close family, smell and love is breaking down.
People are changing day by day due to modernity. Due to various reasons including urbanization and industrialization, employment, economic and cultural development, joint families are becoming a threat to single families.
As a result, sincerity, compassion, affection and love among family members are decreasing.
Being rude, disrespectful for going outside the family discipline seems to be the wisdom of modernity and smartness. Politeness, respect these things family structure will learn from grandparents, uncles and aunts.
But due to the transformation from joint to single family, the child is learning nothing as he is constantly with the working man.
Therefore joint family is necessary for children to acquire ideal knowledge. In fact, we are slowly losing the benefits of close family, traditions and social bonds, increasing strife and unrest.
These only remind us of our golden past.
The writer is a banker.
