Apathy to parents – a most unkind act

Siddiqur Rahman :
We are profoundly shocked to have noticed the news under the headline ‘Kotipati Babar Mrittho, Dapna Asteo Naraz Santanaera’, published on 18 July 2017 in the dailies -The Kaler kanta, Dhaka Bangladesh. It seems to be a fiction, even so, it has literally happened stunning all who have gone through this sad episode. Being it heartrending, invoked me to be rhetorical over the subject in order that we can stretch our knowledge and take necessary precautions against our likely apprehension of bad days. Figured out that father was millionaire and got their sons established with higher education and residential flats. Then, once he realized that he was no more as important as he were to them and got displaced by them from their homes . Having suffered from perpetual agony, one day he breathed his last in a hospital, but his sons showed no intension to accept the dead body , and respect and observe the funeral rites.
Thanks and gratitude to Mr. Mohammad Shahed, Chairman of The Regent Hospital, shared this true episode with us through the virtual device- Face book. The whole story is like: A man named Hamid Sarkar was a government official . He hailed from a village in Jamalpur district. Being driven out from the flat , he was staying in proximity of a mosque in a very deplorable and bad shape that was brought to the knowledge of Mr. Mohammad Shahed by The Imam of the Mosque and The then OC Of Uttara Thana. (west) Further, it was informed that Imam Shaheb was sharing his food with this man as a service to the cause of humanity. Suddenly as the man fell to serious sickness, they sought help from Mr. Mohammad Shahed .
Given the situation, Mr. Shahed did take him to his hospital and arranged proper treatment without least negligence. He said, ” Hamid Sarker was a zonal settlement officer as he came to know, he has three sons, all are wealthy having respective houses in Uttara, Sector # 3 that have been given in the children’s name. His eldest son is a doctor, living in his own flat along with spouse, mother -in-law and sister-in-law , whereas there was no room for his father. Second son is a businessman , he has a flat of his own holding party with his associates and guests in there, while Father is without food and lying on the road. The 3rd son is also a rich person, but unable to keep his father to stay with him for the sake of satisfaction of his wife. All his sons , despite being wealthy and self-sufficient, father’s shelter has been fixed at the corridor of mosque first, then to my hospital. With reference to the context, I would like to say that I try to contribute my blood to my patient in case of need, whereas , no one came to see him on that day also. He had been under treatment in my hospital for 15 days, none of his sons enquired about him in this period even for 15 minutes. He died of cardiac attack after 15 days in spite of our best effort to keep him alive. I call his eldest son immediate after his death, in response, he said that the dead body be transferred to Anjumane Mofidul Islam as I am awfully busy with my company’s important meeting. Having received no response from any other relatives, I myself took the initiative and performed the funeral rites.”
Once again , let me convey our thanks and gratitude to Mr . Mohammad Shahed for all his kind feelings and sincere services extended to the ill-fated father -Mr. Hamid Sarker and for having got this shocking story viral through social net works and news media. In this context I must say -The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity. The verse of the holy Qur’an ,which so comprehensively covers this concept of service to the humanity, reads O people of Islam, You are the best people ever raised for the good of mankind because you have been raised to serve others; you enjoin what is good and forbid evil and believe in Allah. You will remain the best as long as you are service-minded , promote good and promote the welfare of the society. If you fail to do this, you no longer have a right to boast of the superiority of Islam and the Muslim Ummah. A society which is insensitive to the suffering of other human beings and is not always inclined to serve the cause of humanity cannot be described as an Islamic society, no matter how much it adhered to other aspects of Islamic teachings.
Allah says in the Holy Qur’an : ” And do not forget to do good to one another. The Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be on him ) emphasized love, sympathy, and kindness towards all. He also emphasized that we must show each other great appreciation. He said, “One who is not grateful to mankind is not grateful to Allah.”(trimidhi)
Nevertheless, if the sons of late Hamid Sarker were respectful, obedient to parents, they would not have been subject to criticism and disparagement today. To be unmindful and disobedient to parents are clear violation of God’s commandments. He says in the Holy Qur’an, Saura Al-Nisa, Ayat no 36: ” Worship God and do not associate partners with Him. .Be good to your parents, to relatives, to orphans, to the needy, and the neighbor who is kinsman, and the neighbor who is not related to you and your companions and the wayfarers and those whom you rightfully possess. God does not like arrogant, boastful people.”
Children have the duty of caring for father and mother in their old age. Children must learn first to show piety at home and to requite their parents : for that is good and acceptable before God. Children must seek counsel of his parents on important matters, he can see his parents as valuable resources, the parents are to be spiritual resources. He is always in their prayer, all that he achieved in life is due to his parents.  
On the Face book , we are happy to see that friends and relatives are celebrating mother’s day, father’s day cutting cakes and giving gifts to them. In advanced society, children are seen visiting their parents with flowers and gifts and spend some time with them to their pleasure, and it is part of their culture. In our country some children are found to have been making pleasure trip to Cox’s Bazaar along with their old father and mother and strolling on the beach happily .This is indeed highly appreciative plan for those who can afford to .Example are there that many old fathers and mothers have been staying with their sons or daughters in USA, Europe and Australia enjoying all modern amenities of life. Children, in consideration of parents limitless contribution, can’t pay off their dues ever by carrying out duties and giving service throughout their whole life. keeping it in mind, children must go on showing pure love , devotion and respect to them, be caring about their overall peace and happiness in life. Having emphasized the importance of parents ‘ happiness and peace, Hazrat Muhammad (sm) said, ” Paradise of children lies under the feet of mother, further He said, satisfaction of father is the satisfaction of God .”
Now a days, a good number of old mother and father is found to be living in old homes. There are complaints that they had no other alternative but to go there and spend desolated life. Children and loved ones have little time to visit them and keep them connected. No parents expect them to be so rude and inhuman. It is fearful thing to see and hear how some ungodly children will talk contemptuously and rudely to their parents and wrangle and contend with them and contradict them and speak to them as if they were their equals. I feel obligation to proceed with a few fatwa for them as to their duties towards parents . Being dutiful to parents means showing them kindness. It does not mean repelling them or saying to them any word of contempt even with a word of “uff,” to express annoyance or impatience. God the Almighty says : Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him, and show kindness to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age while with you, say not to them(so much as), “Uff”, and do not rebuke them but always speak gently to them ( Qur’an(17:23)
Almighty says : We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents : his mother bore him, in pain and in pain she gave birth to him, and his bearing and weaning takes thirty months…(Qur’an 46:15)
Abdullah Ibn Amr said, ” A man came to The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) and asked his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him ,’ Are your parents alive’? Yes, they are, he replied. The Prophet told him , ‘ Then exert yourself in their service.”(al-Bukhri)
Abdullah Ibn Masud asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ” What is next to piety ?” The Prophet replied, ‘ To be good and dutiful to your parents. ‘He then asked,’ What is next ‘? The Prophet replied, ‘ To participate in Jihad in God’s cause’.” (al-Bukhari)ss
Fatwa are too many to accommodate in one write up, so I am expected to cease here. As we experience , parents have been playing critical role in helping the children to make progress in life. To afflict them with various sufferings by the children not only a social problem but also a social vice .
Our administration must focus on how to extend better help to the destitute and desolate parents and restrain trend of sending the parents to old home without valid reason. Children committing inhuman acts like displacing their parents from home and depriving them of good living should be brought under the purview of justice . We want social scientists would come up with their expertise and policies to curb and bring the happenings to minimum in order to build a society based on humanity, love, compassion, sympathy and justice.
In conclusion, It is the parents ‘ right to discipline the children . Discipline includes teaching them manners, virtue, and raising them according to Islamic teachings and morals. We want our children grow up to be healthy, happy and exceptional adults, to make it happen, our children need to be properly cared for , guided , loved, taught and encouraged along the way.
May Allah (swt) have mercy upon our parents and children.

(The writer is ex-Country Manager of Biman, Bangladesh Airlines, in Frankfurt, Germany. Now lives in New York)